Not having a father to mentor you is just about the worst thing that can happen to a young boy. Most of us who grew up either without a father, or an absent father figure, know this very well.
This story is not meant to provoke sympathy for the writer, but to focus on the importance of a father, and the effects of not having a father around. This affects men throughout their lives, and often makes male-female relationships difficult. You meet your wife-to-be, and you need to have seen how your parents interacted with one another, especially your father towards your mother.
Male-male relationships often suffer even more, with men not knowing how to form meaningful relationships with other men, because they never had an example. Yet the Bible beautifully shows how the relationship between men should be:
1Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity! 2It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard, even Aaron's beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments; 3As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion: for there the LORD commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. – Psalm 133:1-3
- It is good and pleasant – to make this happen, there should be a connection;
- There is unity – men that think and act alike;
- The ointment speaks of anointment blessing that covers the person;
- The dew speaks of life-giving water; and
- God commands, speaks, a blessing to those present.
How do things work when you are together with your friends? If it is not like the above, the elements of God’s blessing are absent, and you need to move out, for your own sake.
I grew up with none of these things present. My friendship circle was filled with lies, deceit, alcohol abuse, and there was definitely no blessing. I had to learn life from my friends who knew as little about the subject as I did.
After I was saved and came to know that God as a loving father is not like the one I grew up with, I decided never to allow my children to endure that I had to. I made a commitment to be a father in body, soul, and spirit – I would set a physical example of what a father should do (body); the way he should act (soul); and the way he should live out his God-given purpose (spirit).
Looking at men around me, to this day I see men who are broken. Yet they put up a brave face because cowboys don’t cry. Many have never learnt to show their true feelings and have no one to turn to. Where they turn to is often the wrong destination. Our mission is to get them back from the wrong place they may find themselves right now, mentor and guide them, and allow them to take up the positions they were always meant to have but were never allowed to. This website is for them. This is our ministry with men.